Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
