It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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