I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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