I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
