if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Randomize
