I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
