So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
