ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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