I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
