Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
