Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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