I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
