Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
