I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
