Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
