Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
