Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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