lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
