Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
