People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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