cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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