Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
