There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
