I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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