I'm going to rape someone's good day.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
