I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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