i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
