Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize