Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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