Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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