Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
