I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
