Cold hands, warm shart.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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