tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
