I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
