there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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