eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
