I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
