can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
