well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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