i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
