After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
