i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
