So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
