You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
