hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
