imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
