i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
