Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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