you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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