There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
