This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sorry my hands just texted you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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