Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
