when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
